white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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