the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
