return my video game
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
