my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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