I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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