Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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