And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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