we have officially lost it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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