Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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