You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
