Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
