when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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