You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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