addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
