I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
