I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
