I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
