Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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