did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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