Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
