Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
