I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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