Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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