just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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