My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
