mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
