He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
