Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
