well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she told me i tasted like america
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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