There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
