Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
PANTIES FOUND
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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