Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
