I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
