pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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