And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
worst night to have a conscience
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
