She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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