That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
