im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
