DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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