i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
