There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
