sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
