No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
