so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
