nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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