he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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