do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
