Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
