Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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