When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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